What Fresh Hell?
by lhwx
Summary: Set straight after ATMBISBM. Gee and Dave are finally together, but Emma's miffed. A new boy shows up aswell. Will Georgia be able to control her big red bottom? Gee/Dave, i'm a fan of fluff not aggers :
1. Chapter 1

_Authors note: Hello my little chummies! T'is I, Laura and I have a new Georgia story for you all! This is my first ever fan fic and I am rather excited! It is set straight after ATMBISBM. Anyway I hope you enjoy it and if not just give me a review on how I could improve. Also if you have any plot ideas or anything just let me know and I will acknowledge you in the authors note if i use your idea And btw massive Dave/Gee shipper so no worries there, i'm a fluff fan not aggers ;) So enjoy the chapter, i am away laughing on a fast camel!_

_(Disclaimer: The fabulous Louise Rennison owns all the characters (even Dave, well jel) i just own the plot)_

**Life, Love and a Laugh.**

**Chapter 1.**

**5 minutes later**

Same bat time, same bat place, same bat nip libbler nibbling my lips.

Dave is a vair, vair gut snogger it has to be said.

And he is now my girlfriend, or do I mean boyfriend? Whatever, I am now the official snogging partner of a biscuit! Yes, yes and thrice yes!

**2 minutes later**

Daves stopping! No, no stopping. Quickly hands grab his top and pull him back. Ahhh nice work hands. Now to make Dave jelloid. I nibbled his bottom lip just a little bit and felt him sigh. Hehe. I ran my fingers through his hair and broke off the kiss so I could start sucking down his jaw and onto his neck. Yes! Result, Dave the Laugh just moaned. I am the tip-toppiest snogger in the whole world.

Dave said, "Nuuugh..."

I just laughed and said, "Awh has my biscuit crumbled?" and attacked his mouth again.

No.5...

**1 minute later**

6...

Ahh now he's 6 ¾ -ing me! Ohhh this is fabby and vair possible verging on marvy. His teeth have just grazed my neck, he better not have given me a love bite as if he has I will have to duff him up.

He stopped, pulled me up and said, "Come on kittykat, we better not keep them waiting."

**10pm**

He was right. As soon as we walked back backstage holding hands everyone stopped talking and Rosie fell to her knees with a cry of "HOORRRNNN!"

Jas came running up to me and gave me a big hug. She said "Ohh Gee, I'm so happy for you! You've finally got rid of your big red bottom- ooer – and realised you're in love with Dave!" I was not very happy about this. If she knew I was in love with Dave then why for the name of our lord Sandra did she not tell me? But do I love him? Maybee... Being the fabby pal that I am I restrained myself and did not say this to her. I gave her a biff on the head instead.

"GINGEYYY!" Oh dear, my darling sister has found her way back stage. Closely followed by the Elderly Loons, my portly Vati and prozzie Mutti.

I whispered to Dave "Run, quickly! I'll meet you outside in 5."

Dave said, "Georgia, I have met your family before. They're not going to scare me off. Infact I remember telling you that I quite fancy your Mutti."

That is when Mum noticed Dave and did a hip wiggily walk over to us while trying to do sticky eyes with MY boyfriend! Imagine that! She is twice his age!

"Oh, hi Dave!" I am going to kill her when we get home.

Dave said "Hi, Connie! Enjoy the show? How fab was our Gee?" and he put his arm around me. Ahh sweet! Then I noticed Mutti's eyes widening . Oh buggering buggery.

"Ooohh... well I take it you'll be walking home Georgia?" and she winked at me. Then she whispered, "I'll take care of Dad love, you can thank me later." And she hip wiggled back over to the loon leader and said vair, vair loudly, "Come on Bob, Gee's walking home with 'the gang'." And said 'the gang' in a really naff voice. I am rather glad she is not an actress otherwise we would never have enough money to feed ourselves. Oh wait we never get fed at home anyway. I must be hysterical with luurve as I am making internal jokes again. Well ho hum pigs bum. _C'est la vie_.

**Midnight**

**In bed**

In my bed of Luurrrvve. Dave walked me home and gave me a vair, vair sweet and groovy number 6 when we got to my house and said "Goodnight kittykat, I shall leave you to dream of your biscuit in peace."

I said "Don't be a div Dave, I shall be dreaming of you," and gave him a really soft number 3. "Tatty bye Mr. Laugh."

Dave said, "S'later Kittykat and the future Mrs. Laugh, I shall be away laughing on a fast camel," and did pretendy galloping off.

Ahhh I love him...

I think?

Did I just say that?

I can't, we have only been going out for like 3 hours!

But do I?

I think I do. Hehe.

**5 minutes later**

Ohh I have a song in my heart.

Do you want to know what it is?

It is, "I'm in love with a biscuit and life is fab!"

Oh I shall never get to sleep now.

It is far too stressful being in lurrvee.

Oh no! Stress causes lurkers!

Did I cleanse and tone?

I can't remember!

Oh I shall never get to sle..ZZzzzzzzzzz...

_A/N: Well? What did you think? Remember that this is my first ever fan fiction so I really need feedback! Even if you hated it please tell me so I can work on it. I will try and update quickly :)_

_Anyways lurrvvee to you all (in a non-lezzie way ofcourse ;))_

_Lauraaaaa xoxo_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/n: Hello m'dears and here is Chappie 2! Hope you enjoy it!_

_This is dedicated to all my mates' specif. Dougie, Catty, Millie, Shaza, Ron Weasley and Kingsly Shacklebolt! Lots of love, Prof. Trelawney ;)_

_(Disclaimer, I don't own the characters, Louise Rennison does, I only own the plot)_

**Chapter 2**

**10.30am**

**Bed**

Up at the crack of dawn with a mad child jumping on me singing at the tip-toppiest of her lungs, "SEX BUM, SEX BUM, IMA SEX BUM!"

"Libby darling, go play with Gordy, Georgia needs to sleep!"

Libby just said, "NO! BAD GINGEY!" and hit me with scuba diving Barbie. Oh god help me. Why can't I have a normal sister?

One that doesn't walk around half naked singing inappropriate songs and waking me up.

I blame it on Mutti and Vati.

It's all their fault.

"Okay Libbs, I'm up, I'm up," I said as I got out my bed.

"OUCH! Bloody aggers!"

Fabby, little Gordon just attacked my foot.

I hobbled down the stairs and saw Mum, muming about.

"Oh Georgia, Dave phoned about ten minutes ago love, he asked would you ring him."

I said, "You talked to him? What did you say? Why didn't you wake me up?"

She said, "Yes I said I would wake you up but he said just to leave you sleeping and asked if I could get you to call him back, that was it." Thank bloody Sandra. "He is rather fit though isn't he? And he has a groovy voice."

I cringed "Mutti that is my boyfriend you are talking about! My sixteen year old boyfriend! Who is half your age!"

She just said, "Well, I've said it before and I will say it again, I wouldn't mind tangling tonsils with him if I were younger." And then she winked at me. "He seems like he would be a good snog, is he?" Bloody marvy more like but I didn't say that to her.

I just gave her my worst look, said, "Urghh I'm leaving now," and went to phone Dave.

**1 second later**

Ring ring, ring ring...

"Hello sensation seekers, biscuit speaking."

"Hello biscuit, this is kittykat."

"Morning sex kitty, so you've finally awakened?"

"Yes I decided I better get up so I could phone my boyfriend back."

"Ah yes well I was wondering if you would like to go out today?"

"_Oui_, when?"

"I shall pick you up at 12 and we can go to the park?"

"Okay dokey see you then"

"S'laters kittykat," and he hung up.

Oh god! Only two and a half hours to get ready! _Merde_!

**Half an hour later**

Right out the shower now dry hair.

**10 minutes later**

Okay now what to wear?

Skinny jeans

Or

Shorts and tights?

**1 second later**

Jeans

**1 minute later**

Shorts and tights

**1 minute later**

Right jeans and that's it!

**1 minute later**

Okay its final!

Shorts and tights.

Now for makeup.

I think I shall go for natural Sex Kitty, so that means: foundation, powder, blush, flicky eyeliner, mascara, lippy and strawberry flavoured lipgloss.

**11.55am**

**On the wall**

Sitting outside waiting on Dave.

I am wearing my skinny jeans because Gordy attacked me and ripped my tights.

Fabby.

Junior blunder boy is out playing with a football and he keeps staring at me and shouting things like "Show me your nungas," but I am just being as cool as _le_ cucumber and _ignorez-vousing_ him.

**2 minutes later**

Oh I can see Dave walking up my street.

Good god he is fit! I've gone all jelloid just looking at him!

He came up to me, bent down and gave me a really slow number 5 and said, "Hello, Sex Kitty."

I fell off the wall.

**1 minute later**

Dave, instead of being a gentleman and helping me up, is now laughing like a loon on loon tablets. I got up with great dignosity and walked off.

**1 second later**

Dave is following me.

He came up and wrapped his arms around my waist and said, "I'm sorry for laughing Kittykat, but you are too full of hilariosity not to!"

I unwrapped myself (oo-er) and said, "David, I am ignoring you.

He replied, "Okay Kittykat, one, never ever call me David again and two, the biscuit is vair, vair sorry and is offering himself as slavey boy to make up for it."

I just said "Hmph," and turned my nose up.

"I'll buy you jammy dodgers?"

Now he's got me.

"Okay, since you are grovelling, you are forgiven," and I gave him a quick peck. "But you must give me a piggyback to the park."

"You're mad kittykat."

"No, you're mad!"

"No, you're mad!"

Oh god, I know where this is going.

Yes, Dave has just started tickly bears.

Number 6, here we come.

**12.30pm**

**Under the tree in the park**

Dave is lying against the tree and I am lying on him.

Not in that way you dirty minxes.

Just in a my head against his chesty way.

He's stroking my hair.

It's vair _relaxant_.

I might just fall asleep.

That would be awkwa...ZZzzzzzz.

**20 minutes later**

Only just woke up because some mad kids ran screaming past us.

"Dave! Why did you let me fall asleep?"

"Calm it Kittykat, you are very cute when you are asleep and I couldn't bare to wake you."

D'awwh. How cutesy! Uh-oh my tummy just growled.

Dave said, "Are you hungry Gee? We can go get something to eat if you want?"

"Okay," and we set off towards town holding hands. It's amazing how natural I feel with Dave. I can just relax and be myself and not worry about maturiosity or holding my nose in 'cause Dave loves me just the way I am. I don't think I have ever been this happy.

**1 minute later**

We were just about to leave the park when someone shouted, "Dave?" and started walking towards us. It was a boy, a vair fit boy, as in _Phwwaar_, fit. He was tall and thin but muscley with black hair and eyes like Dave, bright green.

Dave said, "Callum, how you doing? When did you's get down?" and they guy hugged doing all that back slapping _wubbish_.

Callum (that's the boys name duh) said, "We got down yesterday, did dad not phone you?"

Oh no, this guy was from Och-aye land!

Dave replied, "No, but when does he ever? Ehm Callum this is Georgia, my girlfriend."

Oh I love when he says that!

Then he turned to me and said, "Gee, this is Callum, my half brother."

I did my world famous impression of a goldfish.

Dave has a half brother.

A fit half brother.

A fit half brother who's Scottish!

_A/n: Ahh there you go! A wee bit of a cliffy in there. Please review, when I wrote this Chapter I had 37 hits but no reviews :'( Even if it's just to say hey or this is crap please write something. It would make my day!_

_Anyway, I'm away laughing on a fast camel ;)_

_Lots of non-lezzie love,_

_Lauraaaaaa ;) _


	3. Chapter 3

_A/n: Hey guys, Laura here, hope you are enjoying it so far!_

_This Chapter is dedicated to my Mutti, she's fab and actually was the one who convinced me to write this so a big LOVE YOU! to her :)_

_(Disclaimer: As usual Louise owns the characters [apart from Callum and Daves family] so no law suits please)_

_Anyway here is chapter 3!_

**Chapter 3**

**1.30pm**

**Luigis**

After we said goodbye to Callum we came to Luigis and Dave ordered us sarnies and coke.

We hadn't really spoken on the way here and I decided to ask him about Callum.

"So you have a half brother?"

Dave sighed and said, "Yeah, same Dad different Mums."

I replied, "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to?"

It seemed to be a bit of a sore subject.

"No, I do. It's just a bit awkward. I don't really get on with my Dad. He cheated on my Mum with Callum mum when he was on holiday in Scotland. While she was pregnant with me."

I just stayed quiet and let him talk.

"After my mum found out she left him. Later she found out that Claire was pregnant too and my Dad moved to Scotland to live with them. I still saw him at Christmas and stuff and during holidays but then Claire died so Dad's moving back down here and he's brining Callum with him."

"Wow."

That's quite a lot to take in.

Not to mention confusing.

I figured that Claire was Callum's mum.

Dave said, "Yep," and took a swig of his coke.

I reached across the table and took his hand and just smiled at him a little.

Not even bothering to hold my nose in.

I asked, "Do you get on with Callum? He seemed nice enough."

Dave grinned and said, "Yeah he's cool, not as much of a laugh as the biscuit though."

I laughed, "Ah yes but that would be impossible wouldn't it?"

And then the waiter arrived with the sandwiches.

**2.30pm**

**Walking through town**

We were just ambling along through town quite happy when who should we run into.

Emma.

She looked like someone had slapped her when she seen me and Dave holding hands.

Oh god please don't let it turn into fisticuffs, I don't want to mess up my hair.

Dave mumbled, "Oh god," under his breath and he squeezed my hand as Emma walked up to us.

"Hi Emma."

She said, "Oh so I see you're with her now."

Uh-oh what ever happened to nice smiley Emma.

"We only broke up a week ago and now you're with this, this... TART!"

Oh that's a bit harsh.

She kept going, "When you said there was someone else, I thought you might have a bit of dignity rather than run off to her."

Dave said "Emma that's enough, you don't even know Georgia."

Emma sneered and said," I've heard enough, like how she used _you _to try and make some other bloke jealous! Can't you see she's just using you again?"

I sighed and said, "Emma that's not true, I love Dave."

Oops maybe I should have said that to him first instead of to his ex girlfriend.

Dave looked like a goldfish for a minute then he said, "Emma, I love Georgia too. You're a lovely girl but we didn't make each other happy."

She said "Oh and Georgia does? Oh wait I know what kind of _happy_ she makes you."

I think that was supposed to be a dirty joke.

Dave stiffened a bit at that (oo-er) and sighed, "Don't Emma."

Emma was on a roll though, "Ah so she's just good shag? Is that it then? Oww you bitch!"

I just slapped her.

I couldn't believe what she was saying.

Does she really think that Dave is that shallow?

That I'm that much of a slut?

I said rather forcefully, "I think you should leave now."

She replied, "Don't worry I'm going. Oh and Dave you know where to find me when this slut breaks your heart," and stormed off.

I let out a bit of a sob I'd been holding in and Dave pulled me into a hug.

"Shush kittykat, don't worry, don't let her get to you."

I just cried into his shoulder, "Is that really how people see me? As a slut?"

"Of course not Gee, of course not," and he kissed me on the forehead.

I got out my compact and nearly screamed.

I look like Polly the Panda!

Dave said, "Sex Kitty, do you want to go home and fix your make up?"

I nodded, "Yes, please Hornmiester."

**3.00pm**

_**Chez Moi**_

On the way home Dave kept making jokes and being silly to try and cheer me up.

At one point he bumped into an Elderly loon who started hitting him with her handbag.

I was laughing like a loon.

When we got in the Swiss Family Mad were out at Uncle Eddies.

I had at least a thousand (we 8) messages from the Ace gang, but they can wait.

I took Dave up to my room

**5 minutes later**

Dave is lying on my bed reading _How to Make Any Twit Fall in Love with You_, while I am fixing my makeup.

Dave laughed and said, "This book is complete and utter _wubbish_! It's the biggest load of bollocks I've ever read!"

I replied, "Wewwy, it worked,"

"What?"

Oops I said that while putting lippy on.

"I meant, really? It worked. The advice I mean."

"Well that as it may be Kittykat, but do I look like an elastic band to you?"

"Well no, not really..."

"My point exactly."

"It's a meta-ma-jig."

"Gee, do you mean a metaphor?"

"Yes, that too."

"You're mad!"

Before I could reply Dave grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down onto the bed and said, "Gee, do you really love me?"

I nodded, "Yes."

Dave grinned his cheeky grin and said, "Good, cause I love you too."

And with that we started snogging for England.

**30 minutes later**

We got up to number 7 when I heard the front door open and Libby running up the stairs.

God you would think that child was an elephant.

Dave and I jumped apart just as the door banged open and the mad toddler ran in.

When she seen Dave the maddest smile ever came onto her face.

Fab, my little sister fancies my boyfriend.

"DAVEYY!"

Dave smiled "Hey Libbs," and she climbed on to his knee.

"Were yous SNOGGLING?"

I tried to calm her down. "Libby stop shouting!"

"NO! BAD GINGEY! ME WANTS TO SNOGGLE DAVEY, BUGGER OFF!"

Charming, just charming.

Dave thought it was hilarious.

Then his phone went.

"Gee, that's my mum texting. Grandmutti's coming over for tea. I have to go. See you tomorrow?"

I smiled, "Sure Dave," and walked him down the stairs.

Mutti and Vati were at the bottom of the stairs arguing.

They stopped when they saw Dave coming down but Vati turned bright red.

Oh bugger.

"Georgia what was a _boy_ doing in your room?"

Dave just smiled and said, "Sorry Mr. Nicolson, I was just helping Gee with her homework."

Dad turned a shade whiter, "Ah, I see, yes well, good. As long as that was all."

Dave didn't miss a beat, "Of course Mr. Nicolson."

"Call me Bob."

I said, "Right, enough Dad, Dave's leaving."

And I steered Dave past the elderly loons and out the front door.

"See you tomorrow Sex Kitty," and he gave me a quick number five.

I smiled and said, "Not if I see you first Hornmeister."

_A/n: Well there you go! Chapter 3! Hope you all enjoyed it! I will try to update as often as possible but I'm about a month away from exams so I've got loads of studying to do. I promise to update at least once a week and if I don't then yous can all give me Chinese burns :P_

_I'm away laughing on a fast camel_

_Non-lezzie love_

_Lauraaaaaaa:)_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/n: Hello my little chums :) Chapter 4! Are you's excited? Just another mention to my mates who have apparently been fan girling over this, so Millie, Catty and Dougie, please don't scream when you read this. I can't be bothered repeating the disclaimer, you know what Louise owns and what she doesn't. Anyway, must be off, camels to ride, and laughs to have, you know how it is ;)_

_Non-lezzie love_

_Lauraaaaaaa :)_

**Chapter 4**

**Sunday 16****th**** October**

**10.00am**

**Bed of lurrvveeee**

I am in the besty of moods.

Happy like a happy thing on happy tablets on a happy day in happy land doing a happy dance- and well you get the picture.

No more rack of lurve for me because I am in love.

With Dave.

Who loves me back!

Could life get any better?

I have finally left the bakery of lurve and after a lot of to-ing and fro-ing I have chosen my Dave the Tart.

**20 minutes later**

**On the phone to Jas**

Ring...

"Hello?"

"Jas,"

"Yes?"

"It's Georgia."

"Oh. Hello."

"You said that already."

"Yes but I didn't know it was you before, did I?"

"Jas, shut up."

"But..."

"No Jas, shush, it's my turn to talk."

"Oh. How do you know?"

"I just do okay! Now stop talking so I can tell you about how Dave told me he loved me last night."

"_Non_!"

"_Oui_!"

"_Non_!"

"_Oui_!"

"No-,"

"Jas, shut up, you're annoying me again."

I could hear her humphing and fumphing and sucking her fringe.

"Anyway, I told him I love him _aussi_ but Emma is not too happy about it."

"You've seen her?"

"Yes, yesterday when I was up the town with Dave. She came over and yelled for a bit but then I slapped her for calling me the whore of Babylon."

"Really?"

"Yes, she said that Dave was only going out with me because I'm "a good shag" and she told him that I was only using him. That's when I said that I wasn't because I love him and he said he loved me too."

"Wait! You's have got to number 10 already?"

"Of course not Jas! What do you take me for? A slut?"

Silence.

"Jas?"

"Ehm... well..."

"You think I'm a slut!"

"Well you do have a bit of a problem controlling your big red bottom..."

I was outraged, how dare she!

I said, "Well thanks for that besty!" and hung up.

That'll teach her!

**20 minutes later**

I phoned the rest of the Ace Gang and called a meeting about what I should do _vis a vis _Emma.

The Voley one is not invited.

We are meeting at the park cause the boys have a footie match and the girls want to watch.

How little dignity they have.

Anyway, ho hum pigs bum because I get to see Dave!

**1 minute later**

The phone's ringing.

I suppose I'll have to answer.

"Hello, House of Madness, girlfriend of a laugh speaking."

"Gee, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to call you a slut!"

"Hmph..."

"I know you love Dave, your big red bottom was only for him."

"Anything else?"

"Please forgive me Gee! I'll give you a whole packet of Midget Jems and two Jammy Dodgers?"

"Make it three and I might prepare myself to forgive you."

"That's a bit of a stretch Gee..."

"Three and I'll forgive you and let you come to the super secret Ace Gang meeting that you are not invited to."

"Fine, a packet of Midget Jems and three Jammy Dodgers, now where are we meeting?"

"The park at twelve. Now tell me you love me."

"Gee... do I have to?"

"Of course, otherwise I shall have you move the meeting and make it a whole pack of Jammy Dodgers."

"Fine... iloveyou."

"What I didn't quite catch that?"

"I love you... okay?"

"See ya lezzie!" And then I put the phone down.

Ah I am so full of hilariosity!

I went into the kitchen to get some breakfast.

Ohh toast just popped out the toaster.

I think I'll just have it.

Mhhmmm we even have clean butter.

Spready spread spread, la di la di la.

**2 minutes later**

Eating the toast.

This really is yummy scrumbo's.

Vati came into the kitchen and saw me eating the toast.

"IS THAT MY BLOODY TOAST YOU'RE EATING?"

"No I don't think so, I got this out the toaster."

This just made him even redder.

"YES IT BLOODY WELL IS! AND DON'T BE SO BLOODY CHEEKY!"

"Calm down, its only bloody toast!"

Uh-oh, I've angered the beast.

"DON'T YOU BLOODY SWEAR AT ME!"

Charming.

And they wonder why I am like this?

I finished my toast and put the plate in the sink.

I said, "I'm going to get ready, I'm meeting the girls at twelve."

And then I ran up the stairs as quick as I could.

No point hanging around longer than necessary.

**12.00pm**

**Walking to the park**

Brrrrrrr... It's very nippy noodles out today.

Well I suppose it is England, and it is October, but you would think that with the sun out it would at least be warm.

Apparently I'm wrong.

Late as usual to meet the gang, but they won't mind.

They'll all be busy talking to the boys before the game.

Mind you, maybe I should hurry up so I can see Dave before they—

Aowh! Just turned round the corner and ran into someone, literally.

"Hey, sorry! Are you okay?"

Oh _merde_ it's Callum.

"Oh, no, ehm yes I mean yes, I'm fine! Are you er I mean?"

Fab, I sound like I swallowed Ellen.

Why does he have to be so fit?

Is it so hard to be ugly?

Luckily he didn't run away screaming.

He just laughed and said, "Yes, I'm fine too."

Oh he has a gorgy smile.

"It's Georgia isn't it? We met the other day, I'm Callum, Dave's brother?"

I told hold of my brain somehow and managed to say, "Yes, I remember you."

I even held my nose in when I smiled.

"I take it you're going to the park?"

I nodded, noddings good. Can't say anything stupid if you nod.

"Me too, mind if I walk with you?"

What would a sane person say right now?

I settled for "Of course not!" and a smile.

So we started walking to the park.

It was a bit of an awkward silence and I was thinking of something to say when Callum said, "So Dave's told me a lot about you."

I replied, "Really?"

Callum nodded, "Yep, he really likes you, you know?"

I smiled. "Yeah, I know. I really like him too."

"Good."

Then there was a bit more silence before he said, "So ehm I guess Dave told you about our family situation?"

I said, "Yeah."

After a bit I added, "I'm really sorry about your Mum by the way, how, ehm, how did she die?"

Callum whispered, "Cancer," and then just kind of walked with his head down for a bit.

Oh no, maybe I shouldn't have asked that!

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you! I shouldn't have stuck my nose in."

He just smiled a bit and said, "It's okay, you didn't stick your nose in, I'm used to people asking about her now."

By this point we were at the park, by the edge of the football pitch.

I saw Dave.

He smiled at me and then started to head over.

Callum started to walk away but I turned to him before he left and said, "It was nice talking to you."

He said, "You too," and went to go put his kit on.

Just then Dave caught me around my middle, lifted me and spun me around.

I squealed, "DAVE! Put me down right now!"

He laughed in my ear, spun me once more then put me down and snogged me.

A number 5, right in front of everyone.

It felt so good to not have to hide.

I'm so used to secret snogs, this'll take a bit to get used to.

After about another minute he pulled back and whispered in my ear, "Sorry Mrs. Laugh, do you forgive me?"

I laughed and whispered back, "If you snog me more I might."

And he did.

_A/n: So? What do you think? I will try and get chapter 4 up before the end of the week. I'm going on a school trip this weekend so I won't be able to update, but I promise to try and update before I go._

_Please review, it'd mean the world._

_Anyway_

_Away laughing on a fast camel._

_Lauraaaaa :)_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/n: Hello, sorry I never got to post before my school trip, my friends forced me to go see their show. My trip was fabby btw and so I am dedicating this to all the "One word story makers and such":) Enjoy it 3_

**Chapter 5**

**12.30**

**Sitting under a tree **

Under a tree with the Ace Gang "watching" the lads play footie.

Really we're just talking.

Jas said, "Tell them about Emma"

Rosie looked way too excited when she said, "Wait a minute..."

We waited, and then watched as she pulled her beard and pipe from her rucky.

Does that girl ever change?

"Right go ahead..."

So I did, "Well Dave and I were out yesterday, we went for lunch at Luigis and when we left we decided to go for a walk through town. Then we ran into Emma. Do you want the conversation word for word?"

They nodded, so I told them.

They were all agog.

Then Rosie said, "SHE SAID WHAT?"

I replied, "I know, it's horrible."

"We must eat her. It's the only sensible thing to do."

Jools piped in, "I can't believe that! I mean you's haven't got that far yet, have you?"

I was shocked, did they all think so little of me!

"NO! Of course we haven't! Do you all think so little of me?"

Jools replied, "Well you never know. Talking of which how far up the snogging scale are we all?"

That of course led to a group survey.

I said, "Well, I was thinking we should add bed snogging on, maybe about 7 ½?"

They all agreed.

So here are the survey results

Rosie and Sven: 9

Jools and Rollo: 8 (but she swears 9 is just around the corner)

Me and Dave: 7 ½

Jas and Tom: 7 ½

Mabs and Ed: 7

Ellen and Dec: 6 ¾

So basically Rosie is extremely chuffed at being in the lead.

And obviously finding out that they had done below waist activity led to a lot of questions from the rest of us.

**Half time**

The boys came running over to see us at half time.

Dave said, "Hello chicklets, what are you's all gabbing about?"

Rosie answered "Trouser snakes."

The boys got all wide eyed and shifty at that.

I said, "Sven's, specifically," and we all giggled a bit.

I swear to god the boys are blushing.

I'll just change the subject then, save them some embarrassment.

"So who's winning?"

Dave grinned and replied, "Us of course Kittykat!"

And then he came and sat on my knee.

And he is not light.

I said, "I told them about our run in with Emma."

Dave frowned a bit and replied, "What did they say?"

"That the only sensible thing to do was to eat her."

That made him laugh. I love seeing him laugh.

He always looks so much more gorgy when he laughs.

He said quietly to me, "Just forget about Emma, she's just jealous because I'm yours."

Awh, he's mine.

That made me smile.

He leaned in and gave me a peck.

I was just starting to kiss him back when I saw Callum come jogging over to us.

"Georgia, there's an Italian bloke over there who says he wants a word with you," and he pointed over his shoulder.

At Masimo.

Who was standing on the other side of the footie pitch giving us evils.

"Oh _merde_."

Dave sighed, "Do you want me to have a word with him?"

I shook my head, "It's okay, I'll have to do this sometime."

"You know where I am if you need me okay? Shout and I'll be there in a flash."

I nodded at him and made my way over to Masimo.

I didn't do my hip wiggle or flicky hair. I am going to display maturiosity now that I am Dave's one and only.

"_Ciao Masimo._"

He frowned at me and said, "Miss Georgia, we only break up on, how you say, Friday, and now I am seeing you with Dave?"

"See Masimo, here's the thing... I really like Dave, a lot, and I have for a while. I liked you too but when you said you were leaving for London I realised how much I like Dave. The truth is I probably should have broken up with you a while ago..."

He just looked at me really sadly.

Then he nodded and said, "_Si_, I understand Miss Georgia, you and Dave are good for one another. I am leaving for London this afternoon, I just come for to say goodbye," and walked off.

**1.30**

**Still in the park**

When I got back, Dave gave me a quick hug and kiss before running back on for second half.

So I am now sitting with the Aces eating sweets that Mabs brought.

Rosie said, "I dare all of us to snort that sherbet," pointing to the dib dabs.

I frowned, "Snort sherbet?"

"Yeah! Go on, it'll be a laugh, and we all know how much you love laughs Gee, ay ay," and she winked at me.

"Rosie, there is not a chance in hell that you will ever catch me snorting sherbet."

**Two minutes later**

Sitting in the park snorting sherbet.

This is the weirdest thing I have ever done.

It's horrible, it stings and fizzes in your nose, not to mention the sneezing fits. Ellen can barely breathe for them.

I turned back around just in time to see Callum walking over.

He said, "Hey, been subbed, so I'm just gonna hang with you birds for a while," and plopped himself down beside me.

"Whatcha doing?"

I replied, "Just snorting sherbet, the usual."

He laughed and said, "Dave's right, you are mad."

"He told you I was mad?"

I'm going to kill him.

How dare he insult me?

"Yeah, but he's mad too so its fine."

And then we laughed.

It was really awkward for a bit so I decided to break the silence.

"So, what's it like in Och-Aye Land then?"

He chuckled, "Shite. I lived just outside of Glasgow and the town was full of neds."

"Full of what sorry?"

He laughed, "Neds, you know, non-educated delinquents. You'd probably call them chav's down here."

I understood, he meant people like Mark Big Gob.

I asked, "So do you have a girlfriend?"

He blushed a bit and said, "I think I do. Millie. She's lovely but I wanted to break it off after I found out that I was moving, but she didn't want to. She said that she wants to try a long distance relationship. I just don't want to tie her down, if you know what I mean."

He sighed and frowned.

He looked so sad. He must have really liked her.

I put my hand on his shoulder and asked, "Do you miss her?"

"Yeah, I do. She always brightened up my day when I was feeling down. Even after my mum died..."

Oh no, Callum looked like he was going to cry. What is it with boys crying around me?

I must display sensitiviosity. I'll give him a hug.

Just a matey-type mate hug. And try not to think about how sparkly his green eyes look.

And how fabby he smells.

When I was hugging him I saw over his shoulder someone watching.

OH MY GIDDY AUNT! It's Emma! And she looks really smug at seeing me hug someone else.

I pulled back from Callum quickly and shifted away from him slightly.

He chuckled and said, "I don't smell that bad do I?"

Oh god what do I say?

My boyfriends' ex-girlfriend was watching and now thinks there's something going on between us?

Or is that too much?

In the end I force hysterical laughter and went to get more sweets from Mabs.

**Full time**

Dave just came slow motion running over, like in that show about the lifeguards.

Whats it called?

Oh Baywatch, that's it.

"Dave you're a loon."

He replied, "You know you love it Sex Kitty," and winked at me.

Ohh the Cheeky cat!

"But I'll forgive you for saying that if you snog me?"

"Hmmm that could be arranged...

I went over, wrapped my arms around his waist and looked up at him.

He was looking down at me, right into my eyes.

It's weird how him and Callum have the exact same eyes.

But Dave's have a cheeky glint in them.

Probably something to do with the smirk on his lips.

I can't believe how tall Dave's gotten.

I have to go up on my tippy toes now for us to kiss.

"When did you get so tall Hornmeister?"

"Ah well that is just another quality of being Jack the Biscuit."

"Are there any more?"

"We'll there's obviously the fantastic snogging abilities..."

"Care to demonstrate?"

He laughed and replied, "You just can't resist me Kittykat, can you?"

I smiled and said, "No, I really can't," before pressing my lips onto his.

**5 minutes later**

After about five minutes of number 5 and a bit of 6, Dave pulled back. What is it with him and stopping?

He said, "So Kittykat, care to meet my Mutti? She wants' you to come round for tea."

Do I want to meet his mum? I think I do actually. I would love to find out why Dave is Dave if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

So I replied, "Of course Mr. Laugh, lead the way."

_A/n: Finally, this chapter took the longest to write so far! I had major writers block. I know what I want to happen, I'm just struggling for it to get there. Anyway hope you's enjoyed it and please review!_

_Non-Lezzie love_

_Lauraaaaaa3_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/n: Hello, sorry for taking so long to update, but I have been majorly busy. Hope you enjoy this chappie :)_

**Chapter 6**

**4.00pm**

Walking to Daves.

This is vair, vair nice actually. We are just ambling along holding hands like a proper coupley couple.

We had to stop by my house first to let mum know that I wouldn't be home for dinner.

Haha.

As if. I think I got confused between the Swiss family mad and a normal household.

I am a bit nervy though about meeting his Mutti.

I wonder what she's like. I'll ask Dave.

I asked, "So Dave, what is your Mutti like?"

He smiled and said, "She's mad, a bit like me. Her name is Gillian Watson, she is 42, she's a journalist and she loves to tell jokes. What time she has left after writing she spends shopping and cooking and she likes horror films, because she thinks they're funny."

"She sounds fab."

He laughed and said, "She really is Kittykat."

"Will it only be your Mum there? Do you even have any brothers or sisters? Apart from Callum, I mean."

"Well, I have a sister, Catriona, but I don't know if she'll be there or not. She's away at uni just now, but she sometimes comes down on Sundays to visit."

"Should I be scared?"

"Of course not Kitty, I don't think they're as bad as your family, if that's what you're thinking."

Haha as if.

"Dave, no one could be as mad as my family."

He just laughed.

**Five minutes later.**

We've stopped in front of a big white house.

A vair big white house.

Dave must be rich!

"Dave are you rich?"

He replied, "Something like that Kittykat," and dragged me up the path.

Okay, deep breaths, deep breaths.

It's just Dave's family. He'll look after me.

It'll all be fine.

I hope.

Maybe.

Or not?

Dave just opened the door and yelled, "Mutti, I'm home and I've got Gee with me."

Then a woman yelled back, "We're in the kitchen honey."

So Dave dragged me through the massive hallway to the kitchen, passing TWO living rooms on the way.

How many living rooms do you need?

**5 seconds later**

Oh my giddy god.

Dave's Mutti is quite literally gorgy!

And no I am not on the turn.

She's tall, slim, with long wavy brown hair and bright blue eyes.

No wonder Dave is so groovy looking!

She came over and said, "So the famous Georgia! We meet at last."

I shot Dave and accusing glance. He shrugged as if to say, what?

I beamed at her my full nostril flaring smile and said, "It's really nice to meet you Mrs Watson!"

"Call me Gill."

I laughed, "Okay, Gill."

Just then a younger looking Gill walked in. This must be Catriona.

She's the spitting image of her mum.

She squealed when she saw me. "Georgia! It is so nice to finally meet you! You're all Dave ever talks about."

Awh Davey is so cute.

Hehe.

Dave hit his sister on the arm and hissed, "Shut up!" to her.

Gill said, "Kids, stop fighting, we have a guest! Dave why don't you take Georgia through to the dining room, dinner's nearly ready.

**7.00pm**

Dave's family are really nice.

I love them already.

We had a three course dinner complete with _vino_ (which I never get because my Mutti and Vati couldn't bare to waste a drop on a nuisance like me).

For starters we had soup. I think it was lentil or veg? Something like that.

As a main course we had a full roast dinner. I'm talking roast beef, Yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes, carrots, peas and gravy.

It was marvy.

Then as the _piece di résistance _Victoria Sponge cake.

I nearly died.

I don't think I've ever eaten so much in my entire life!

I really enjoyed it.

After dinner Dave took me up to his room.

It's massive, like three of my rooms combined!

"So what do you think Kittykat?"

It was blue with dark wood floors and ceiling.

At the back of the room was a double bed and next to it a mahogany wardrobe.

Nearer the front of the room he had a couch and tv complete with an x-box, of course, and a dvd player.

It was neat but messy at the same time.

On one of the walls was a cork board with loads of photos of him and the barmys and aces. Even some of me.

A lot of me actually.

Under the cork board was a map of the world with coloured pins stuck all over it.

Places he wants to see I guess.

It's such a Dave room.

I said "I love it, really, it's so _you_!"

He took my hand and we went and sat on the couch.

He said, "So want to watch a dvd or something?"

But he had an evil glint in his eye that told me he didn't want to watch a dvd.

I said to him, "You don't want to watch a dvd, do you?"

He laughed and said, "Well I thought I could show you some of those vair fab snogging skills I was bragging about earlier."

Then he leaned in and started trailing kisses up and down my neck, from my ear lobe to my collar bone and back again.

I hummed, "That could be arranged," and then brought his mouth up to meet mine.

We started of slowly with a 4, and then gradually made our way up to number 5.

Then I started to get really into it. He was doing the varying pressure that apparently foreign boys do and when he nip libbled me I just melted.

I was so jelloid I think I may have moaned.

Then we went on to number 6. Dave was really getting into it too at this point.

I weaved my fingers into his hair and wrapped one of my legs around his waist.

He moved me so my back was against the armrest before grabbing my other leg and hitching it up around his waist as well

Dave picked me and carried me over to his bed where he lay me down.

Then he pulled his shirt off and lay down beside me before kissing me again.

Oh it was fabby. Dave has a vair, vair fit body and I couldn't help but run my fingers over the lines on his stomach and up and down his chest.

He put his hands up the back of my shirt and was rubbing circles into my back.

I sat up and pulled my tee shirt off then watched as his eyes went wide.

I didn't give him much chance to look before I attached myself to his mouth again.

After a while I felt his hand pawing at my bra strap.

Do I want to go that far with Dave?

Yeah, I think I do.

So I reached behind myself and gave him a hand.

He broke off and breathlessly said, "Are you sure Gee? I don't want to push you too far."

I answered by taking off my bra and pressing myself against his chest.

Uhh it felt amazing.

Then it was back to the snogging.

**9.00pm**

Walking home with Dave.

After a while we stopped snogging and decided to watch a dvd.

Dave thought we had gone far enough for one day.

I agreed but I wasn't very happy to see him put his top back on.

After the dvd Dave said he would take me home, so now we are walking through the streets holding hands again.

I can't believe how much I love this boy.

I feel completely comfortable with him, like I could tell him anything.

I never felt like that with the SG or the Italian Stallion.

I was always really nervy around them.

Worrying about what I looked like and stuff but with Dave I don't really bother.

When we got to my house I turned to him and said, "Dave, I love you so much, I don't understand why I didn't realise it sooner. Just please don't ever forget that."

He smiled and leaned his forehead against mine, "I won't. I want you to remember how much I love you too; I don't know what my life would be without you."

He gave me the softest goodnight kiss, a number 3 at most, and yet my knees went jelloid and I had to hold onto his shoulders to stay upright.

"Night Hornmeister."

"Goodnight kittykat."

He pecked me on the nose then turned and walked back down my street.

_A/n: So? What do you think reviews please. I know not much has happened so far, but I promise it will get more interesting as it goes on. I have an idea for a sequel of a school trip to Belgium and I was wondering if you wanted it as a sequel to this or as a standalone set after SITNOP?_

_Let me know what you think._

_Non-lezzie love_

_Lauraaaaaa 3_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/n: Hello, I know it's been a while and you're all probably wondering what the hell took me so long. I'm sorry it's just the exams have been on and I've started my higher courses so been trying to study as much as possible. I'll try to update quicker in the future. So here's chappie 7._

_Disclaimer: Same as usual._

**Chapter 7**

**Monday 17****th**** October**

**7.30am**

Up at the crack of dawn for another day of torture and boredom.

How fun.

I'm still really smiley though because of a certain laugh. Hehe.

I started putting on my make-up. Not very much, just enough to make me look naturally gorgy so the Hitler youth don't notice.

A dab of concealer, a brush of blusher, a hint of mascara and lippy and then we're good to go!

After spritzing on some perfume, I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen for a pop tart.

Lovely and nutritious.

Dad was sitting at the kitchen table and said, "Bloody hell Georgia, what's wrong? Is your bed on fire? You're never usually up this early!"

I replied, "Oh rave on great portly one, for I am in a rather good mood and you are not going to ruin it," and took the pop tart out the toaster. Then I grabbed my coat and rucky and ran for the door shouting, "Cheerio!"

**Morning break**

You would not believe what we got told at assembly this morning.

Go on, guess!

No guesses?

Ok, I'll tell you. The school is taking us on a trip to... Belgium!

Oh and that's not even the best part...It's with Foxwoods!

I know! I get to go on holiday with Dave!

It's all the school's talking about. The ace gang won't shut up but for once I don't care cause I'm as happy as they are.

Rosie said, "I don't know what you's are all so happy about. My boyfriend can't go!"

I replied, "Don't worry Ro-Ro you'll still have a fab time!"

"Yeah as the third wheel" she pouted.

Jas said, "Oh it's going to be so good! Apparently they have so many different types of lichen in Belgium! And imagine all the soil samples I can take from the trenches!"

Rosie and I just looked at each other and biffed her at the same time.

**Physics**

Me and the ace gang we're just about to walk into the class when we heard a noise.

I said, "Wait, what's that?" and put my arm out to stop them walking any further.

They all listened carefully and heard rustling and slurping noises.

Ew I hope Herr Kamyer isn't eating jelly or something.

And then we heard the moan.

Rosie squeaked, "OH MY GOD!"

Mabs said," Did you's just hear that moan?"

We all replied, "Yes!"

I whispered "Let's look!" and tippy toed up to the window and sure enough there was Herr Kamyer getting it on with... Miss Wilson!

"OH MY GOD!" we said again.

We didn't really want to walk in, in the middle of that so we decided to wait outside the class, and got everyone else to do the same.

And then Wet Lindsay came along.

Oh how I hate her.

She slimed up and said, "What's going on here? Why aren't you in the class? Out of my way I have a message for Herr Kamyer."

I stepped in front of her and said, "Trust me on this wet one, you don't want to go in there," but I secretly wished she would. The look on her face would be priceless.

She sneered at me (attractive), "Oh shut up big nose, do you really think I'm going to listen to you? Move it fat arse!"

Uh! I do not have a fat arse!

Argh that bitch!

I just smiled sweetly and said, "Fine Lindsay, but isn't it funny how both Robbie and Masimo preferred my fat arse to your bony one?"and moved out of her way.

Serves her right.

Then she opened the door.

Rosie had her mobby out all ready for the picture and everything.

And Lindsay did not disappoint her face was quite the picture, even more unattractive than it usually is.

The screech she let out was hilarious too.

The only downside was that the rest of us saw what was going on in the classroom.

Miss Wilson was sitting on the teacher's desk, her corduroy skirt hiked up, and Herr Kamyer standing between her legs sucking on her neck.

Urgh not something I ever want to see ever _ever _again.

Lindsay slammed the door shut and then ran down the corridor.

Probably away to tell Slim.

A few minutes later the door opened and out came Miss Wilson looking rather flustered.

She nodded at us then went on her way back to her own classroom.

Herr Kamyer came to the door cleaning his glasses.

He said, "Ach 'ello girls, I didn't zee you zere, come in," and went and sat behind his desk.

Yes that desk.

I don't think I'll ever be able to keep a straight face again in that class room.

**Last Bell**

We were walking out of school after doing emergency lippy in the tarts wardrobe and we were still talking about what happened before Physics.

It's the talk of the school.

Herr Kamyer was called to Slims office half way through class and came back looking thoroughly reprimanded.

Apparently Slim had even threatened to fire both him and Miss Wilson.

But she didn't.

I don't know whether I'm pleased about this or not.

I mean Herr Kamyer and Miss Wilson are about the only funny things that happen at his school.

I think I would probably become depressed if they left.

Probably.

Anyway the boys were at the gate waiting for us as usual.

Oh I can't wait to snog Dave again.

I know I only saw him yesterday but I've missed him so much.

Just seeing him there waiting _for me_ has made me feel so much lighter and happier.

It felt like a ton of bricks had just been lifted off my shoulders.

I think I'm even grinning.

Nose out and all.

Once we get a bit closer I start walking really fast and basically fling my arms around his neck and attach myself to his mouth.

I don't even care that there might be teachers watching. I just needed to kiss him.

Once I pull back he rests his forehead against mine and says, "Hey."

I smile, "Hey," and peck his lips.

Then I disentangle myself until we're just holding hands.

I said, "Oh you would never believe the day I've had!"

"Really kittykat, I have had quite the day myself. Did you hear about the Belgium trip?"

"Yes! I'm so excited! I can't wait to go on holiday with you!"

He laughed, "Me too," and then pecked my cheek.

"You'll never guess what happened before Physics today! We caught Miss Wilson and Herr Kamyer snogging today, in class, while he was supposed to be teaching us. We were waiting outside the class and heard them so I peeked in the window and saw them, but none of us wanted to walk in so we waited and eventually Lindsay came along. I tried to stop her going in, I really did but she didn't listen and now I think she may need counselling for the rest of her life."

Dave was nearly crying he was laughing so hard, "What was her face like?"

"It was hilarious, Rosie got a picture, should be all over facebook my now. Serves her right calling me a fat arse."

Once he stopped laughing he gasped in mock horror, "She said you had a fat arse?"

I nodded, "She did."

Then he got a really cheeky grin on his face.

"What, this arse?" he said, and pinched my bum before slapping it.

"DAVE!"

He put an innocent look on his face, "What?"

"Don't do that!" and I smacked his shoulder for good measure.

Only then did I notice that we were actually on my street and nearly at my house.

He spun me to face him, put his arms around my waist and said, "I'm not promising anything."

And then he snogged me.

Oh how he made me jelloid. If it weren't for his arms around my waist and me hanging on to his shoulders I would be a puddle on the floor by now.

After a fair amount of number six, he pulled back and said, "Bye-bye kittykat," then gave me one last peck before turning on his heel and walking back up the street.

_A/n: Yeah yeah, please put the pitchforks away, I have just been so busy and had a serious amount of writers block. I completely forgot where I was taking this and I was all stressed out with exams and shit. Anyway, I know that's not really an excuse but its summer now, I am going away for three weeks so the next update will probably be late July? Sorry for the wait guys._

_Away laughing on a fast camel,_

_Lauraaaaaa x_


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